-He befriends every fish, lobster, and conch before He kills them, because nobody's life is complete without a friend, and they deserve at least that much for being so delicious. He does not get paid for this, but He could.
-He travels all over the country, many times opting to hitch hike despite being provided with an airline ticket because He believes His listening skills will enrich anyone's life if given a few hours in a confined space.
-He can rub sunscreen on another man in a masculine yet caring manner, even SPF 50.
-His dreams, are the kind of dreams that people only dream of dreaming.
-He is well versed in survival tactics and skilled in the arts of Archery, Rochambeau, Sayoc Kali, and Rug Hugging. As impressive as those skills may be, His most impressive skill is growing facial hair.
-The impressive wingspan of his Delhi Dandy's mustache is something neither the cobras nor the ladies, could resist.
-He has fished with Aboriginal tribes using only hand made tools; surfed open-ocean swells off the coast of Mexico; paddled an outrigger canoe 32 miles across the Catalina Channel; and once saved a small group of young children from an angry black bear, by coercing him with only berries and a twig.
-He has many proud moments. It's not hard when you travel in the circles that He does. But His most impressive was Jonathan. And no, a gentleman doesn't talk about his trophies.
-His emergency bag holds: a whalebone corkscrew, the emergency number to a swedish masseuse living in Boliva, two non-refundable airline tickets to Pamplona, a can of bear spray (although His excessive chest hair usually scares away any unwanted intruders) and a rhino call.
-His day-to-day activities vary significantly and usually require the use of His excessive cognitive reasoning ability or the application of His superior intellect to complete the task at hand. Whether it's evaluating camel races for the Saudi royal family, learning the secret fish baiting techniques of the southern Amazon tribes or reserving a window table with an intersting, yet elusive Estonian model at Chez Louis in Monaco, He has become a master of the impossible and a pioneer of the unthinkable.
QUOTES:
-"I approach social situations the same way I approach a spitting cobra; with quick thinking, lighting fast reflexes, soothing vocalizations, protective eye wear, and a bottle of anti-venom tucked safely in my pocket."
-"You guys made this blog because you are jealous of my chiseled muscles and rugged good looks."
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