The Legend of Matan

"Squiggly Squirmer" as photographed by Omer Hadad circa 2008.

Matan Goren is described in reports as a large, steel-based creature, ranging between 6-20 feet tall, weighing in excess of 500 pounds (230 kg, 0% body fat), with a maine of light brown or blonde-ish hair. Alleged witnesses have described sharp cheek and jaw bones, and a prominent nasal passage; its arms and legs have been described as powerful and chiseled, similar to those of the male gorilla. Matan is commonly known to evoke an uncontrollable sense of fear in witnesses and is known to feed on juvenile elephants and bears. While most photos - some will dismiss these as hoaxes - show a 6 pack, some have had number ranging from 8 to one million. Some have also contained ridiculous good looks and a humanoid form, making it likely that it is the offspring of George Clooney, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and God. Proponents have also claimed that because of his Cannabis intake, Matan is not strictly a carnivore.

About two-thirds of all Matan sightings are concentrated across weight rooms in the Pacific Southwest, with most of the remaining sightings spread throughout womens legs everywhere. Some Matan advocates, such as Matan-ologist Omer Hadad, have postulated that Matan Goren is a worldwide phenomenon.